I am a sinner; to believe in (God) is to believe in my condemnation. 

I am lost in a world without a light to look to. If I could pray, I know they would have to go unanswered. I am a sinner, and I am unrepentant man. My sins are necessary; sins of necessity. Sins of mathematics and thermodynamics. Sins of fate. If you can believe in such a thing.

I don’t believe in fate, but I do suspect sometimes that if time were seen from an outer perspective, all time and space could be seen to be happening simultaneously, which means that fate is real, in that fate has happened, or is happening, and everything is happening, all the time, forever, always.

Mathematically, it makes sense to me. 

You can’t feel numb. You can only be numb. I can’t feel numb, so I just feel sort of cruel. I can’t win this game, so I sure as hell won’t be a graceful loser. I’ll take as much of the board down with me as I go.